A Collection of Stories
by ethan.spikes
Summary: A collection of great stories I have found over the internet.
1. Chapter 1

**This is a compilation of other people's DnD stories that I randomly found and liked. The rating on each story may vary greatly, though only up to 'T,' so long as strong language and vulgarity counts as 'T.' I will try to credit every single person individually by their username and where I found it. Yes, I am copy/pasting these. Why? Because I want to preserve the great DnD stories I have found, and help others enjoy them without having to go looking as well.**

-oOoOo-

From Nightthunder in Reddit

I'm playing with my first D&D group right now, and we recently made our way into an underground cave. We were in trouble, as we had one boss hot on our heels, but had found the room we were looking for that held really powerful armor and a mace. The only problem was it was guarded by a spectator

Now, being the cleric, I tried to talk them out of fighting it, but they outnumbered me so we got ready to fight. A few turns in, I'm already worried because this is going south fast. I decide to cast blindness on it, which usually isn't a great spell because it's easy to break and most creatures can overcome it, but I'm desperate (and really want to know what happens when you blind a giant eyeball). I cast the spell, roll the dice, and it's effective.

Then the spectator disappears.

We're now freaking out, sure this is a super powerful attack tactic. We grab the magical items and stand in a very intense defensive circle, waiting for it to come back. It never did.

Turns out, when you cast blindness on a giant eyeball, it automatically thinks the battle is over, and just sort of leaves existence.

And that's how I, a first time, level 3 cleric defeated a boss with a first level spell.

-oOoOo-

From TmickyD on Reddit

This was during a pathfinder campaign. I was playing a level 5 half-elf ranger. We were heading to a town, because plot, but when we got there, a large ice wyvern was wrecking the place, also because plot. I, being the smart nature loving guy that I am, was able to determine that this ice wyvern was weak to fire damage, so I dipped my arrows in lamp oil and lit them on fire before shooting them at the wyvern.

We were getting our asses handed to us. This wyvern was much stronger than anything we had faced beforehand. Our DM knew this, so he hid a few barrels of gunpowder in a building for us to find and use in the battle.

Our druid ran into one of the buildings and saw the gunpowder. The only problem is, in this world, gunpowder was not a widely known about invention. It was only just getting it's start in this tiny village.

There was a note next to the barrels that said

Caution, highly flammable, keep away from fire.

The druid sees that I'm shooting flame arrows and comes up with a bright idea. The wyvern was directly outside the house he was in, so he opened a window and rolled the barrel directly under the wyvern's legs.

He then shouts to me "SHOOT IT!"

 _ _note: he's only 5 feet away from the barrel at this time__

At this point I pause the game.

Me: "Wait, my character has no idea what this barrel is, correct?"

GM: "Yes, that is true."

Me: "So my character has no idea what this will do, and all he notices is a big barrel getting rolled out of a window with a familiar voice yelling at me to shoot it?"

GM: "That is correct."

Me: "The druid doesn't know what about to happen either, right?"

GM: "He has an idea, but he doesn't know how much danger he's in."

Me: "Ok then! __to avoid meta-gaming, I immediately shoot a flaming arrow at the barrel__ "

The shot hit the barrel, which then exploded. Our GM decided that the barrel will deal 10d6 damage, and that the size of the explosion will be dependent on the amount of damage that was done. I rolled the D6s and managed to get __7__ sixes, a five, and 2 threes. For a total of 53 fire damage (we were level 5, so this is huge.)

This explosion turned out to be MASSIVE. Since the ice wyvern was weak to fire, he took double damage. The dragon got completely blown apart, sending bodyparts flying. The house the druid was hiding in also got completely demolished. The druid and his familiar were both blown into the wreckage and unconscious. There was also severe damage to many other buildings in the town.

The town that we just tried to save is now completely in shambles. Quite a few villagers were dead or dying. We basically nuked this peaceful village. RIP little town... I'm so sorry.

-oOoOo-

From Quote_Poop on Reddit

The story of how I killed my first player is always a fun one.

So, we have a friend who wants to play a cat-person furryfolk. Whatever, that's fine by me. Well, one of the stats in D&D is wisdom, and my player rolls a 6. 10 is average. So, he decides his character is really like an actual cat-curious, kinda dumb, and fucks with everything it comes across.

This curiosity led him to willingly seek out and ingest: a dead rat that had just poisoned the cleric (which then poisoned the cat during a long seafaring journey, which nearly killed him), a rotting fish, and flakes of undead flesh (long story).

None these were the culprits of his death, however. His downfall was a clear vial of liquid found in an old chest inside an ogre's den. I was in the middle of describing the vial when he stopped me dead by saying, "I eat it."

I sat in stunned silence for a while. The flask was filled with a magical oil meant to temper weapons with the flame enchantment. I had him roll a fortitude save. He fails with a 2. I had him roll a will save. He fails with a 6. I then sighed, broke character, and told him he enchanted himself. Just like the liquid required, if he was lit on fire at any point, he would never go out.

However, his cat was none the wiser, since there was no real effect on his body and his cat wasn't smart enough to search for one. He went on thinking it was gross-ass water. (Side note, if you've never played D&D, a rule is that you cannot metagame. Metagaming is when you act on something __you__ know that your character does __not__ know. So, you may know trolls are weak to fire, but your idiot barbarian character probably wouldn't, so you wouldn't go out of your way to use fire. So, what this means is that his cat not only wasn't aware of how he could die at the wrong moment, his cat also didn't even know something was wrong to get it removed in the first place.)

The cat then proceeded to die __not__ because of the enchantment, but because he face-rushed the ogre. He was later resurrected via demon summoning, but they used his old body, so his character was still enchanted with fire.

His next death came the very same session, where he was defending a boat while it was trying to sail away. He unluckily decided to charge the only enemy character with a firebomb. The cat exploded in an enemy-boat-sinking __inferno,__ killing half a dozen thieves, which allowed his allies to just barely escape alive.

Eris the Shadow Sorcerer was my first player death as a DM, and I still miss that crazy cat. He always kept me on my toes. Out of all the zany, crazy, half-baked ideas my players sometime will come up with, I'm glad he was the one to break my murder-cherry.

-oOoOo-

From Amanoo on Reddit

Baumi (a YouTuber who plays a ton of DotA2) had a nice story about his Pathfinder session.

Basically, he and his friends are all pirates, with their own ship, doing pirate things etc. While travelling, suddenly parts of the ocean freeze over, especially around the ship, and zombies and frost wights appear (frost wights being creatures that make you take cold damage when you touch or attack them, or when they attack you). Baumi is a melee guy with no ranged attacks whatsoever, so he does the only thing he can do from the ship, and decides to fire the cannons. Rolling a natural 20, he decapitates one of the frost weights with a cannonball. As it's a zombie, the head is still alive, cursing as it lies there while the body walks around aimlessly. Then, he gets an idea. He retrieves the head, and mounts it on his quarterstaff through the neck hole. He's now walking around with what's basically a talking and cursing hammer that can freeze things and that deals blunt damage as well as frost damage.

-oOoOo-

From KingWalnut

It starts with a countess.

They meet with her and my players ask how hot she is. I say it doesn't matter, but they press me. Out of ten? I roll a d10 and get a 3.

As we are talking, the bard is visibly contesting a thought and rolls a d20. It was a natural 20 (automatic success). I don't see it, but the fighter does and calls him out on it. It went something like.

Fighter: I saw that Bard.

Bard: What?

Fighter: That roll. That was a proposal roll.

Bard: Well, it was a diplomacy check technically.

Fighter: DM, he rolled it. You've gotta count it.

DM: Ehhhhh

Minotaur Barbarian: Count it! Count it!

DM: You want me to count it Bard?

Bard: Why not.

I rolled the countess's diplomacy roll in return: Natural 1 (automatic failure). My players hoot and get psyched. I tell the Bard to confirm the roll (roll again, maybe unjustified, but I knew what kind of chaos I might be letting loose).

He rolls __another__ natural 20.

The table erupts as I describe how the countess, absolutely __flattened__ by his suave charisma, agrees to the marriage on the spot.

The marriage happens. The player becomes a count. Drinks are had and merriment occurs.

The Minotaur Barbarian can't keep himself in check among humans, elves, and the like. He is smashing plates on accident, breaking wind, engaging in coarse discussion, and doesn't understand the concept of a "waltz".

There is a note I need to make about this Minotaur. His Intelligence score was around 6. 5 is the minimum for __sentience__ as we know it. He wasn't bright. By the players own urging, he mandated Will Saves to not become distracted by shiny objects or fly into a rage at the slightest perceived insult.

The Minotaur is escorted out by the newly-appointed count and countess. Instead of sending him out completely. They send him to the stables.

He finds some cows on the stables and tries to hit on them. He has horns, they have horns, love is in the air, he is very stupid, why not?

Well, the animals do not understand concepts like Minotaur love and ignore player rolls one is his customary "am I that stupid rolls" and finds he is that stupid. He flies into a depressed rage and strikes one of the cows. However, the player did not anticipate how little HP a cow has and caves in its head in a single strike.

This Barbarian had the Cleave feat, something he has used with gusto all campaign long. (3.5e rules: when you kill an enemy with an attack, you may deliver an additional attack to any target within your attack range).

The player attempts another Will save to reign in his emotions. He fails miserably. In his grief and rage, he falls back on old habits and cleaves a blow to another nearby cow, killing it instantly.

The resulting havoc and fear from the rest of the cows draws the guards. The count's first actions in his new authority is sending his friend to jail for animal cruelty. He bailed him out the next day.

During this entire sequence, I merely narrated the events as they happened and did not meddle with events or their rolls. This situation played out as D&D should be: by and for the players. It was magical and gut-wrenchingly hilarious.

 **TL;DR: BY THE WILL OF THE DICE GODS ALONE a player unwittingly marries a countess, becomes count, his buddy gets arrested for murdering a bunch of bovines. Zero DM intervention involved.**

-oOoOo-

From Isaac_Chade

This comes from the group I DM for, more often than not, though everyone has tried their hand at DMing as time has gone on. This particular run was in third edition and was a run of fun, where some things were rather ridiculous.

Most ridiculous was that the dwarven paladin, our group's best roleplayer by far, had gone on a long and arduos quest for his god. In exchange he was granted some measure of divinity, including large wings. So we now have a dwarf in heavy armor who can fly.

He quickly figured out that gravity and a dwarf covered in metal are the best weapons around and proceeded to, essentially, cannonball from the air into the next encounter, crushing a lowly bandit into a meaty paste, to much cheer from the group and terror from the bandits.

We tend to be a group more focused on having lots of fun and playing with rules rather than really sticklering them, so I have lots of these sorts of stories.

-oOoOo-

From [deleted] {as in his username was somehow deleted} on Reddit

In my current campaign I'm a half elf mage. We also have a paladin with a bow(your guess is as good as mine), ranger, fighter, and a cleric. We had to fight a massive demon, as soon as we entered the room he roared and roasted us with fire. I went from 28 hp to 4, and hauled ass to the end of the room(50x100 feet wide). Everyone was locked in combat while I shot it with spells from afar. The ranger was fighting it hand to hand, and it knocked his sword out of his hand which flew 20 feet away. So the ranger started sprinting towards it and the demon swooped down(he could fly) to grab it. Ranger passed the dex roll and managed to get it and made a glorious jump swing and cut the demon mid flight, killing it. I then had to make a dex save as a giant demon body came crashing down in my direction and barely made it out of the way as it's horns pierced the wall.

-oOoOo-

From HailMaryIII on Reddit

 **Posted a long time ago but one of my better stories in general and one of the ones I like to tell to get people into DnD**

So, this was one of the first DnD campaigns I'd ever played in, and in particular there are two things you need to know about this situation.

1) My DM was a dick in regards to combat - he'd give us things that are just a bit much for what we were equipped for. Our first fight consisted of two Trolls one shotting two party members, and them passing off pouring potions down each others throats in a bid to not die.

2) In order to combat this he had given us some magical items, and I was given a sword that, on double critical confirms (as in roll two 20s on a d20 in a row), would absorb the souls of whatever I had killed and add their damage to my damage rolls. No way this could go wrong, right?

So we're going to this dark island, where things are like animated movie evil [the sky around it was always stormy, etc.] and we of course have to take a boat there. Along the way we [surprise surprise] are ambushed. What we didn't expect was that it was going to be a fucking leviathan.

We were not equipped to handle a leviathan. Most of us were sword wielders, we had no magicians, and our only archer was under leveled. So after we had all tried (and failed) to hit the thing, we had to resort to desperate measures. I checked my bags for anything, ANYTHING that would help, and was suddenly struck by an idea.

I had a well of many worlds.

For those of you who are unfamiliar to DND, a well of many worlds is a type of portal device that sends things to a random dimension. This, for all intents and purposes, is more or less a joke item, as not knowing where your thing will go, it can't really be used to set up any dramatic plans. What it is good for, though, is getting things out of your face.

So I climbed up towards the bow of the ship, wound my arm back, and threw. The well of many worlds expanded, spinning in the air like a ridiculous armband of God, getting larger and larger until finally, it struck the leviathan. And then poof, our problem was gone.

The issue was, the well of many worlds doesn't just get rid of things, like I said before it moves things to a different dimension. The dimension the leviathan had decided to make its new home, seawater and all, just happened to be Asmodeus' lair.

Asmodeus, in the DnD world, is the equivalent of Satan in a fairly loose way. He's the ruler of the Nine Hells and the head of the Devil Army, his lieutenants including other names for Satan (Beelzebub and Mephistopheles being examples). Generally not someone you wanted to fuck with. Except at this moment, it seemed Asmodeus had found it somewhere in his heart to love another being. He stood, ready to say his vows and consummate his marriage to this woman, and in this exact moment, the leviathan had decided to appear, seawater and all, just above the place of his wife.

So we are all high fiving each other for getting rid of this leviathan, a fairly impressive plan as far as we were concerned, when BAM out of nowhere Mephistopheles appears next to the boat in a fan of flames.

The conversation was short, in the effect of "what the fuck have you done" and "IT WASN'T OUR FAULT" and basically it was decided that in penance for our grievous error, we had to die and spend all of eternity in anguish in the Nine Hells. The problem was, due to a particular magical ability, when it came to combat I had the ability to always go first.

Remember what I told you about the soul stealer sword? That whenever I double crit [which did obscene damage, like x4 or some shit under the rules we were playing] I would steal their abilities? __HOW MANY DICE OF DAMAGE DO YOU THINK A LORD OF HELL HAS?__

So after that happened, to the pursed lips look of my DM, I began to jot down the dice of damage on my character sheet as the boat moved on, now confident that anything I hit was gonna fucking die. Asmodeus apparently forgot about us and we went to the top of the tower on the island, where evil shadow monks were running the damn place.

Of course, the only person who would make sense running such an organization would be Akuma from Street Fighter. So, as we exchanged monologues and readied for him to wipe us each in one blow, I readied my sword.

And then rolled two twenties in a row.

With all of my new found abilities, I had a fairly dramatic jump in power. Times that damage by four, and suddenly we are talking some serious damage. Normally damage for characters around our level was somewhere in the 30s-40s range. I hit him for 6,000. So now, after acquiring a Lord of Hell AND Akuma in the same day, I was feeling pretty good about myself. That is, until my DM told me that the evil force was too strong and I needed to roll a willpower save. That was fine, I thought. I had been rolling twenties all day! How bad could it be?

I rolled a 1.

So Akuma, the most dominant personality as it hadn't quite been eroded yet, took over my body, and with his new found powers, began to go and take the others Gods powers, destroying the universe as we knew it.

And that was the story of how my DM REALLY FUCKED UP.

-oOoOo-

From internetpillows on Reddit

Ran a long-running 3.5e campaign once that ran from level 1 to I think level 15, and let's just say that there were a lot of "chaotic neutral" members in that party. The early levels were all your typical adventurers on quests into dungeons, fighting monsters, and roleplaying in cities. Once they hit level 12, they started abusing their new spells and abilities to rob places and kill people instead of roleplaying, doing anything they could to get their hands on magic items. 3.5e kind of goes wonky after level 15 so I was planning to end the campaign, but I hatched a plan to teach them a lesson at the same time.

I had them hear a rumour about a temple that contained an artifact which could control time, and naturally they wanted it. The party eventually found the temple and discovered that there's another party of adventurers already there looking for the artifact. I described the temple and all of the other party members in detail, what they looked like and what equipment they had, but the players just wanted to get the artifact. The game became a race through obstacles and monsters to get to the chamber with the artifact first, the other party being only level 10 but having a significant head start.

The players eventually found the room with the artifact sitting on a huge pillar, and the other party was already there fighting a necromancer and his minions. The players made short work of the necromancer, and then as I expected they proceed to kill and loot the other adventuring party. This is where my lesson came in. The player wizard killed the other party's wizard with one spell, the artifact in the center of the room hummed, and the player wizard vanished. The rogue sneak-attacked the other party's cleric and killed him, and the party's cleric vanished.

They guessed that the artifact must be teleporting them away to ensure it's a fair fight, it wasn't until the fight was over that they figured out that they had just killed themselves in the past. See I wrote my own adventures and kept extensive notes, so I picked an adventure from the party's past from before they got power-mad. They had come to a temple at level 10 to fight an evil necromancer and save a village, but that was 2-3 real life months ago so they'd all forgotten. I read out the players' own descriptions of their characters and equipment from before they hit level 12 and started stealing items and getting geared to the teeth. I even said that the temple and other party members seemed familiar, but nobody pursued it.

 _ _TL;DR: Party started getting evil, so I sent them on a quest to find an artifact that can control time. They find other adventurers there and kill them, and the party vanishes. Turns out they killed themselves in the past from a previous quest to the same place. Lesson learned!__

-oOoOo-

From CitationX_N7V11C

So I always told my buddies I'm never going to play D&D. After years of trying they finally got me to try it out. I decided to try a cleric but wanted to have some fun with it. So I decided to throw in random quips that since he was chaotic-good violence arouses him. After we start assaulting some rat-men (not sure what they're called) nest. I say "I think my [my character] has an erection." The guy across from me goes, 'Roll to spot erection." The DM made us do a Perception check and roll for length. Ever since then I'll be down for any D&D.

-oOoOo-

From Yayalorde on Reddit

My freshman year of high school a friend of mine earned the nickname Dragonslayer and was known as such for the rest of high school.

That might sound cool, but it was the 1980's and being a nerd back then was anything but cool. Every day at lunch we would go to this area known as The Commons and play D&D while we ate lunch. I ran a game that had gone on for a while and finally culminated in a big final battle. The battle itself took us several lunch periods to play out. We are near the end of the battle and it comes down to my buddy Dave. If Dave kills the main bad guy (which was a young dragon) during his attack, they win. If he doesn't, reinforcements will arrive forcing them to flee and fight this battle again. So Dave roles a natural 20 and slays the dragon. It's very quiet where we played and there were about 20 other students and a few teachers in here. Dave slays the dragon then, without warning, he jumps up out of his chair, slams the dice down onto the table and screams, "Fuck yeah!" at the top of his lungs. It was a pure, unadulterated moment of joy and it scared the shit out of everyone in the room. One of the teachers said, "Dave, quiet down and watch the language!" Dave sheepishly replied, "I just killed a dragon." The teacher didn't miss a beat and said, "I don't care what you did Dragonslayer, keep it down and watch your mouth."

Everyone laughed and from that day on Dave was known as Dragonslayer. He claimed to hate it, but deep down, I'm sure he liked it a little bit.


	2. Chapter 2

One of my early DMs was a very very roleplay oriented gamer. Pages and pages of notes, tons of backstory, complex characters, intricate plots, voices, the works. Unfortunately, his players are largely a bunch of hack n slash murder hobos who spit on the mere concept of plot.

So the local big bad is a drake. DM is hinting heavily- super heavily- that we are intended to pull a Hobbit; look at drake, snag McGuffin, and run like shit. Deal with that fucker later. Instead, we charge.

At first, I think he's fudging some rolls to try to save us from what should be inevitable doom... But then he starts really rolling terrible. A legendary bad streak of 1, 2, and the occasional five. And the players are on an almost as epic hot streak. We are doing damage, and it's adding up. The DM isn't the type to cheat and make the boss invincible or have unlimited hp, especially if we did a bit of role playing or skill challenges, which we all knew enough to take advantage of.

And finally, he starts dropping us. Kill two, knocks some unconscious. Its coming down to the last few hits, and while we fought valiantly, it looks like the drake will win... Till the barbarian's blood drinker sword heals him for an ungodly amount, and he's got more than enough to kill the dragon. Which he then pees on. Accompanied by much role playing and pantomime by you character, with much specification of where he pees on the dragon next.

So, having loot appropriate for several levels higher than us, we decide to conquer the kingdom. He refused to continue the campaign when it was clear we were just going to try to conquer every land we could find.


End file.
